I’m back in California resuming my Herceptin infusions. It had been a month since I had my last infusion, along with the final chemotherapy. Herceptin is technically not considered chemotherapy (since it targets only the cancer cells) and will continue for the next 9 months, administered usually every three weeks. I had a big blast of Herceptin on Friday November 21, the day after I arrived back in CA. It went well, I rested over the week-end, and was able to attend church and resume my new ministry of Prayer Partner, going down front after the service and being available for those who wish to pray with someone. There were about 4 other Prayer Partners that morning, ready to pray with those who stood in need of it. I hope to get to know them better.

I enjoyed immensely my time back home in West Virginia. I hadn’t realized how much I missed it! It was great spending time with my friends on Mustard Seed staff, our “home church” missional community, and other neighbors and friends.

There were sad elements, though. A friend’s grandfather died and it was hard on her and her family. And a neighbor who had lived in my community all his life, who told Randy stories of playing in our very yard as a boy many years ago, died in hospital while I was there. Mustard Seeds had worked on his home more than once over the years and he received witness of God’s love and Jesus’ sacrifice for him, but was always resistant to the gospel. It was another neighbor, who had known this man for many, many years who related that she had talked to him before he went to hospital, and he did pray with her to receive Christ as his savior. What a blessing to know that! I truly hope to see him in heaven. God is merciful and compassionate, willing to forgive our sins, more so than we are to forgive ourselves!

Randy had told me they’d already had cold weather in WV and once or twice it actually snowed. Yet when I arrived at Yeager Airport (named for Chuck Yeager, who hailed from WV) in Charleston, I stepped off the plane into 70 degree weather! What a surprise! We enjoyed gorgeous weather for a few days and I spent as much time as I could on my front porch. Then we had chilly, rainy weather move in. But you know, I still think the hills are beautiful, with the tree’s leaves down and matted on the ground, the rocky outcroppings exposed. I’ve always enjoyed and gloried in God’s creative flourishes in the fall and winter seasons, especially living in West Virginia.

A few days before I had to leave WV, it turned cold and we had snow. Beautiful! We had to drive in it one day and it can be treacherous, but God kept us safe our whole trip that day. I do prefer to stay off the roads in that kind of weather, stay indoors in my cozy home or bundled up, and with cups of hot chocolate, my hubby and I sit on the porch together watching the snow come down, covering trees and bushes, lawns and mountainsides. Who said late fall and winter are depressing? There is beauty all around if we look with seeing eyes. Thankful eyes. God has been teaching me for a number of years about this very thing. How good and patient his is!

As the days progressed, putting more time behind me since the final chemotherapy, and after God healed me of the cold I endured for 5 weeks (which he healed in answer in believing prayer by Randy and our staff on Wednesday following my arrival there), I gained in energy and strength and was able to do a number of things, including joining staff meetings 3 mornings a week and doing some Mustard Seeds business in the office. I rested when I got tired, because I still don’t have a lot of stamina, and took walks around my yard, which, because of the slope, was about all the exercise I could handle. I miss gardening and one day collected the few seeds I could find left from some of my flowering plants. I have them here and plan to pot them and see if they will transplant to this southern California climate!

When Randy gathered our staff on that first Wednesday morning, as the men ended their prayer time and the women on staff were about to start ours, Randy asked that they pray for my healing of the cold, the cancer and the myasthenia gravis. He anointed me with oil as James talks about in his epistle, (and which we had asked for from the elders in the church I am attending now in CA) and they prayed in faith for me with the above requests. Randy has been praying for my healing from MG (myasthenia gravis) as well as the cancer, for almost the past year, since my diagnosis in December 2007. So have others, some for many, many years. God has convicted me of my failure to persist in prayer for my own healing from MG over the 45 years I have had it. Something finally “clicked” inside me and I am coming to him with all the faith I have, small as it is, casting my doubts and fears right back on him and praying for faith, like the father whose son had a terrible demon! “Lord, help my unbelief!”

Now I am coming to God to uphold his word. Since Sunday November 16 I have not taken a Mestinon pill. This is a cholinesterase inhibitor which I have taken since I was first diagnosed with MG back in 1965. I have never, since I was first put on it, not taken Mestinon. I always needed it. Now I find I do not need it(be assured this is one of those drugs which I can take or not take as needed, not like other drugs I currently take.)

Randy and I are trusting God that this is indication of him answering prayer. I do not know how long a process this will be. I will take it step by step. There are many doubts and rationalizations which come into my mind, but these I turn over to the Lord. James says it is the prayer of faith which saves the sick. A double minded, doubting person doesn’t pray in faith and therefore doesn’t receive anything.

I said I am asking God to uphold his word, his promises related to prayer. Why? Because we are declaring (telling others) God is answering prayer. His name is on the line here, not just mine. My desire is to bring glory to him. God is glorified in his mighty acts…acts which we call on him to perform…in faith. Faith greatly pleases him (Hebrews 12:6). Everything I am saying here is grounded in scripture. I’ve not gone off the deep end! I’m afraid I haven’t given God his due in the faith area. He deserves more.

Now, I have to address the issue of Radiation therapy. I have an appointment for a consultation on Tuesday, December 2. Remember I asked for prayer that I might not have to go through radiation? Well, I still would like to avoid it, if possible. But I realized that I was tired of having to go through another thing which would make me tired, weak, sore, etc. Rather small of me, actually. Wrong motivation. God has been so gracious to me! Instead of a frightening experience, I have grown stronger and sailed through surgeries and chemotherapies. Yes, there has been real pain and discomfort and various other side effects. I am not denying them. But I have done so well that even my Oncologist said I was doing very well. Then he repeated it. I told him I thanked God.

When I agreed, at the very first visit with the oncological surgeon, to have the kind of surgery I had (breast conserving surgery rather than a mastectomy) I agreed to have follow up radiation, though I wasn’t happy about it. This is standard procedure for the kind of surgery I had, so as to lessen the likelihood of any cancer cells being left behind and causing a recurrence of the cancer. So, since I do not feel I should discontinue any therapies for cancer, I am obligated to follow through with the full regimen. I do this before the Lord.

Does that mean your prayers that I might avoid radiation were useless? Of course not. I plan to ask about the possibility of not taking the course of radiation. God may surprise me! But I am at this point submitting to what I agreed to for cancer treatment under the care of the doctors of Loma Linda University Medical Center. And I definitely need your prayers for God’s mercy to be extended to me through this treatment. There are unpleasant side effects and I pray they will be minimal. Those who have been through it understand these things. Everyone responds differently to treatments and I am again throwing myself on the mercies of God, taking nothing for granted.

How I thank God for your prayers for me! James, in chapter 5:14-16, after outlining in verses 14 and 15 how those who are sick are to go to the elders and ask them to pray and anoint with oil the sick person, and the prayer of faith will save the sick and God would bring healing and forgiveness of sins, goes on to say that we are to confess our faults to one another and pray for one another so that we may be healed. This is, I am sorry to say, what is so often lacking in many churches. We need this kind of face to face community, accountability, vulnerability to one another; and then forbearance, forgiveness and compassion for each other, and boldness to believe God…so that we can pray in true faith toward God and love for one another, so that we may be healed. By this (one means of acting in love for one another) we will be known as Christ’s disciples, and I believe God will be glorified.

This blog serves a purpose of sharing my needs with you, many of whom will pray for me. A blog is very deficient in many ways, so one sided, but it does share a need. And your prayers are significant and deeply appreciated. However, we need to develop and nurture the kind of relationships James points to in his letter so that we can have a greater effect in the body of Christ and in the world!

Oh that Christ would be magnified and glorified in us! Oh that we would love and trust him more so that he can do greater works through us! Then he would be glorified and his kingdom built up on earth!
This is why we live.

Jacque

I’ve been back home in West Virginia for two weeks and I have enjoyed every minute. God has always given me a great capacity to adjust to my circumstances, a gift of grace. So, when in California, with my children and grandchildren, receiving cancer treatment at one of the best medical facilities in the country, I was not anxious and “homesick” because I was surrounded by people who love and care for me, and I knew I needed to be there at this time. I still feel that way.

For 9 ½ months I had been away from my home in WV. When I walked in to my big old house two weeks ago a new emotion struck me, like a big inner smile, and my mind said, “this is my house, my home!”. Yes, with all its warts and shortcomings, this is still my home! Of course, without Randy, it would not be the same, but he is here and all is right.

We had lunch with our Mustard Seeds staff on Monday and what a nice time that was seeing everyone once again! These are very special people to me and I love and appreciate each one. God has blessed us with a great staff of people, the “Mustard Seed family”. On Sunday, Nov. 16, we all had a Thanksgiving dinner and even Emily, who was on staff until July, was there to join us.

Remember I requested prayer for my flight to WV because I still had a cold and plugged ear? I had a great flight east, no problems, and I tolerated the trip better than I anticipated. Thank you for your prayers! The next day I had more sinus congestion and coughing than the day of the flight!

This cold was in its 5th week with no signs of abatement. By Wednesday, when men and women on Mustard Seeds’ staff meet separately for prayer, Randy called all staff together to pray for me and anoint me with oil for healing of this cold and the myasthenia and cancer, too. Within two days the cold was gone and I could sleep on my normal 2 pillows rather than 4 or 5 to prop me into a half sitting position so I could breathe! Praise God!

My energy level has increased since being here. With the cold gone and with each day more distance from the date of the last chemotherapy, I gained more energy. It feels good to feel good! I’ve done a number of things while here, yet haven’t overdone it physically. I still take frequent breaks and rest a good bit; I still tire easily, but I am gaining strength and stamina bit by bit.

Another amazing thing is happening. I am taking this as from the hand of God in answer to prayer: I have needed less and less Mestinon, a maintenance drug for the muscle weakness (MG, Myasthenia Gravis). I am in my second day of NO Mestinon. This is a first in the 45 years I have been on this drug. I will continue to “play it by ear” and if I need to take it, I will. But I stand in awe of the goodness of God. Please continue to pray in faith with us that God will heal me completely of this cancer and the MG. He is glorified in the mighty works he does and I will praise him for his greatness and goodness.

I leave for CA on Thursday of this week, November 20th. The next day I go in for Herceptin infusion and will get some idea of a schedule for the next several months of receiving this drug (not considered chemotherapy since Herceptin targets the cancer cells and doesn’t kill other cells). I also will be having a consultation for Radiation. More on that later.

Thank you again for walking with me, for taking the time to pray for me. May your faith be built up as you do so.

Jacque