I’m back in sunny southern California. I can get out of the house to sit on the porch and get into the car for travel to appointments and church and elsewhere without the assistance of another person to help Randy carry me in my wheelchair up to the car! That was the scenario at our home in West Virginia. I am back to walking, mostly unaided, but use a cane when out and when I need it in the house to take weight off my left leg. Funny (metaphorically speaking…because literally it is not funny) that my “good” leg (the left) is now the “bad” leg. So, really, I have 2 “bad” legs! But I my right leg, which broke and has a surgically placed titanium rod in it, is healing up well, according to the doctor.

I saw my orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Yu, the same one who replaced Randy’s knee 3 years ago when out here, and he gave us the results of my bone scan, letting us see the actual image on the computer. There is “activity” in my left leg which indicates it is possibly healing tiny fractures and is at risk of a break, like my right leg experienced. Not a nice thought. I do not want to go through that again. Surgery to place a rod in the femur would stabilize the bone, however, insurance companies do not pay for those kinds of preventative surgeries. And having seen the claims sent to my insurance for the bills for my medical care in December, there is no way we could pay for such a surgery out of pocket.

So what are the alternatives? Being very, very careful, for one! I am also going the route of nutritional supplementation. And I am avoiding busy places with lots of people such as stores, but I still go to church on Sundays.

But first and foremost I have requested prayer for healing. God is the one who makes medicine “work”; he makes healing possible and actual. This is what the Psalmist was talking about when he wrote in Psalm 33:16-21 (parenthetical comments and emphases mine)—“The king is not saved by a mighty army (though he has one); a warrior is not delivered by great strength (though he has it). A horse is a false hope for victory (though he is used in battle); nor does it deliver anyone by its great strength. Behold, the eye of the LORD is on those who fear him, on those who hope for his lovingkindness, to deliver their soul from death and to keep them alive in famine. Our soul waits for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. For our heart rejoices in him, because we trust in his holy name.

I believe in seeking the best medical help I can find, just like the king goes to war with a strong, well trained army. But my trust, my hope is not in even the best of medical technology or skill. That in itself will not guarantee my good health. My hope is in the LORD who created us and is the Healer.

When we were in Dr. Yu’s office, the orthopedic surgeon, Randy and I having prayed beforehand for God’s wisdom for the doctor, Dr. Yu asked us to bow our heads and prayed with us for God to give him wisdom and guidance as he sought what was best for me, his patient. We knew this about Dr. Yu from when he treated Randy, and besides his great knowledge and skill as an orthopedic surgeon (he is a doctor for Olympic athletes), we have been greatly impressed with his faith in God, which is very evident, even just walking into his lovely office. There is great comfort for us knowing our doctor, one of the top in his field, humbly seeks the Lord too!

As you have probably figured out by now, my stay in California will be a long one. All this has confirmed in our minds the rightness of Randy’s initial feeling that I should come here for recuperation because it is so much safer than back at our home in West Virginia. We have no idea when my leg will improve, how long it will take. By God’s grace I will have healing and improvement so that my “bad” leg indeed becomes a “good” leg again. We both appreciate your prayers for me, for safety and healing, and for the two of us as we seek the Lord’s wisdom for all the ramifications of my condition.

Randy is back in West Virginia and I do Mustard Seeds work via computer and telephone from here in CA. We will have long periods of separation when he is in WV and I remain here, which is not pleasant for us, but necessary. We remind ourselves other servants of the Lord have suffered much worse, and do suffer worse, in their commitment to serving God and extending his kingdom on the earth. He will give us grace. Pray for us, for you strengthen us by your prayers.

God is at work in McDowell County, WV, and we were this week reminded of it by a public entity asking one of our staff members to hold prayer for and with their employees just this morning. This event served as the reminder that God wants true spiritual revival in the church in McDowell County more than we do! We just get to be a part of what he is doing. God put it into Randy’s heart to begin a prayer campaign to the end that the church would be called back to the Lord and strengthened so that they can and will reach out into their communities to those without hope, without Jesus Christ, loving them into the kingdom of God, training them up in the ways of the Lord. Pray for us and the church in McDowell County.

Jacque

As God has been bringing me through the physical pain of recovery from my broken right leg and subsequent surgery, and now the danger to and pain in my left leg, He has been teaching me, going deeper into lessons learned, righting skewed perspectives, and humbling my heart for my lack of faith. How easy it is to criticize those whose stories of faith and struggle are laid bare for us to learn from! Like the account of the disciples, crossing the sea in a boat with Jesus when the great storm arose which began to sink the boat. They were scared to death they were going to drown and chided Jesus for his apparent lack of concern as they cried out for him to save them from certain death (Luke 8:22ff). We look at that and wonder how can they be so dull when they had been with Jesus as he did miracle after miracle of healing, casting out demons, even raising the dead. Jesus, after commanding the wind, calming the storm and sea, himself rebuked the men for their lack of faith in him.

This incident came to my mind just this morning. I have been acting just like those followers of Jesus. I’ve been fearful, crying out to God, focusing on myself to the point I can’t see him clearly and I begin to think he doesn’t care the way he says he does. And though I have been constantly giving my fears back to God as they raise their ugly heads, seeking his peace in exchange, I keep having the same battle over and over again. The root of my problem is lack of faith in the One who is with me “in the boat” in the storm. The One whom I have seen do miracles in the past. Am I so short sighted to forget?

This is why it is so important to give thanks in the process of laying our fears and anxieties on him (Philippians 4:6,7). Among other things, like giving God his due, by thanksgiving in prayer we refocus our attention on him and off of ourselves and our problems, even as we lay our worries at his feet, over and over again.

Being honest with God is good and right, as long as we do what the Psalmists did and that is to refocus on God and praise him for who he is and the great things he has done. Then we begin to build up our faith as we look at the immensity of God, his might which is all-mighty, and his great love and tender compassion for us proven beyond all shadow of doubt in the person and work of Jesus the Messiah. I think this is what is meant by “David encouraged himself in the Lord”. It is when we look at the great realities of God that we begin to have hope in our own circumstances.

The scriptures are full of God telling his people not to fear; God telling Moses, Joshua and the prophets; Jesus telling his disciples not to be afraid; God speaking to Paul and John not to fear, and on and on. God has been reminding me of his mantra of ‘do not fear’, and I need to take heed to it. Do not fear. Definitely a work in progress, but at least it is going on.

More than anything I want to express faith in my Lord, not doubt and fear. I wish to please him above all else. God is pleased when we have (live out) faith in him. Without it we fool ourselves, but not God, for we cannot ever please him without faith, living faith.

So I stumble on. Your prayers strengthen my feeble knees and lift up my hands which sometimes want to hang down in despair. As Amy Carmichael said so well, when God blesses, even the broken pieces are not wasted. I know I have been blessed of God. I have so much to thank God for. He will not, he is not, letting my brokenness go to waste. He will use me to fill other needs in his kingdom. I have, in fact, prayed for that very thing. May it be so.

Randy and I intend to proceed with our plans to drive to Atlanta Thursday (Jan 27) and fly out to California Saturday January 29. Another (yes, another!) winter storm is passing through the area so we are praying for wisdom and safety related to travel. The results of my bone scan done Monday wouldn’t have been available to us until Friday of this week so we are having the results sent to my doctor in California for follow up on my left leg there. I am back to using the wheelchair and walker, under the strict orders and watchful eye of my caregiver, Randy. I can’t get away with anything! He continues to be the sweetest, kindest caregiver ever. I thank God for him.

Thank you for praying for me. There is a spiritual work going on here in our county and we need your prayers for the work of God as well as for ourselves.

Jacque

Be careful what you listen to. About God, what he is really like and how he works. There are the plain words of the Bible which, if we would familiarize yourselves with them and the contexts in which they were written, would give us a clearer picture of the true God. But still, thoughts sometimes come in through the back door of our minds, quietly, stealthily, and stay in the shadows of our thoughts, whispering quite effectively into our minds lies about the Person and character of God. We should not be surprised at this. We should be on our guard against these enemies. But I confess, in the midst of choosing to praise God and affirm his lovingkindness, patience, mercies, forgiveness and all such wonderful traits shown toward me, I have uncovered a nasty villain in the background, lurking and insinuating and stealing from me…peace. It’s the oldest trick around…lies about God (remember Eve and the talking serpent?). I’ve been duped.

I am terrified at the thought that I might be harboring, even if not speaking aloud, thoughts about God which are not true, just like Job’s friends did. They thought they had a corner on the truth. Theologians all. Hah! Were they wrong. And to their souls’ detriment. When I read that God was angry with them for not speaking the truth about Him, I cringe and cry out for forgiveness! I take seriously that God doesn’t stand for lies about himself, especially from those who profess to know him and serve him, even if they are confined to one's mind.

I believe God has, in the midst of my current emotional and spiritual struggles arising from the trauma of my broken right femur, opened a door of understanding in my inner being. An issue (unrelated to my current situation) which has been niggling in the background of my mind, lying all the time about the nature of God, has been exposed for what it is…a lie of the enemy. Now the fears and doubts which have been hanging on and persisting, keeping company with and emboldened by lies, are gone. Vanished and vanquished, by God’s grace and power.

Peace. It is a good way to start a new year, broken leg and all.

There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. And I am exteremly thankful to be here after 2 weeks in hospital, for surgery and then rehab hospital. It was not a bad place, just not home. There is no place like home.

Just in case you wonder why I was in a hospital for surgery and then rehab, on Wednesday, December 1, I was walking down our sidewalk to the house when my femur snapped in half and I fell, thankfully onto the grass. When I tried moving my leg the bottom half didn’t move. It was definitely broken. I knew I couldn’t crawl up the hill and cement steps, nor down to the house. I knew Wendy was expecting me to bring the car around (the reason for going to the house was to get my keys) so we could do an errand and would wonder why I was taking so long. Surely someone from the office just across the street, which I could see from my position lying on my side, would poke their head out the door and look for me….I refused to let myself panic, hunkering as best I could against the wind whipping a few snowflakes around me. The ground was cold but not yet snow covered nor frozen. As long as I didn’t move, I didn’t hurt…yet. Prayed God would send someone out of the office soon so I wouldn’t be there too long on the ground. I tried yelling, “HELP!”, several times and waved my arm. Amazing that you must use hip and leg muscles for yelling. And how quickly one’s voice gets hoarse.

Though I was scared and cold, I knew this could be much worse. I could be alone here, no one in the office, no one expecting me at any moment. I thanked God that others would soon come looking for me, that the ground and weather was not yet full blown winter, that I had gloves on, that I had a hood on my jacket which I put under my head on the ground; for so many things. It could have been so much worse.

After what we estimate was about 30 minutes, Randy came out the door of the office onto the porch. Just then I yelled and waved my arm and he yelled to those inside to call 911. I was going to be ok. Deliverance was on the way.

Everyone from the office piled out and did whatever they could to assist. I was piled high with blankets and a heating pad to keep me warm. I had begun to get seriously cold just before Randy showed up. It took another 30-40 minutes for the ambulance to arrive and needless to say I have never experienced such pain as when I had to be moved onto a stretcher for the ride to the hospital, and subsequent moves from one pallet to another in hospital. It would be several hours before I received any pain meds. But I was thankful to be rescued, for that is certainly what it was. As I said, it could have been so much worse.

After an agonizing X-ray (my femur bone, in 2 pieces, was criss-crossed), it was determined I’d have surgery the next day. In mid-afternoon Thursday I went to surgery and after a day or so transferred to the rehab hospital next door where I spent a week and a half.

Winter storms came rushing into our area with many inches of snow and single digit temps and even below zero windchill temps. Randy couldn’t even get out every day to come the 35 minutes to hospital to visit me. I was glad he was wise and stayed home in the worst of it, though I missed his company. Mountain roads can be treacherous. With this weather the prospect of getting me down through our yard into the house when I was released seemed daunting. It was of great concern to Randy. But God graciously let me be released on one of the only days we had calm weather, higher temperatures and sunshine. The roads were clear and with the help of 3 friends, who practically carried me in the little wheelchair I had, I got down the several steps in our yard and into the house with no incidents. Again, we are so thankful, so thankful.

I do not know why all this is occurring. The why's belong to God. And I know beyond a doubt (my own) that God is good. I have simply yet pointedly prayed that God make something eternally valuable out of all this. Suffering of any kind should never be wasted. God doesn’t waste anything. He knows I am His, totally abandoned to Him; to live for, love and serve Him. May He work out His eternal, righteous purposes through this brokenness of my body.

I am doing rehab on my own at home so far. We do not yet know if there is a home health company which accepts our insurance which can provide in-home rehab. But I see my orthopedic surgeon this Thursday (23^rd) so please pray all is well, that I will mend properly with no problems, that I will have no blood clots or fat embolisms which can happen with a femur fracture.

Randy has been caring for me at home, fetching and doing everything for me that I am incapable of doing for myself yet, plus running the household: laundry, cooking, dishes, cleaning, etc.

Since our home has a step into our downstairs half bath and a flight of stairs to the only shower, the yard is all incline and sidewalk steps, Randy has determined for my welfare and safety that as soon as I am ok’d to travel, I will be going back to California to live with our children for my recuperation. It will be a long road to complete recovery with incremental improvements, but by God’s grace I will improve every day. Randy assures me he sees it each day now. If you’ve been through anything like this, you know exactly what it is all about.

Thank you for your prayers for me. Please continue them, and hold Randy up as he has the extra load of work and burden of concern for me.

Grateful to God for His mercies…and friends like you. May you know more deeply this year His goodness as we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, our Lord and only Savior.

Jacque

Baby “Heavy” Fanchi (he does have a formal name too) came for a short visit to his mom, dad, siblings and other family yesterday, October 3, 2010. We understand they had 15 minutes with him, for which they thank God, before heading right on to his final destination, his heavenly Father’s home. Of course, all here mourn his quick departure, but they were prepared ahead of time for this real possibility and have made the most of the little time allotted them with Heavy.

Thank you for praying for the Fanchi family. As you think of them in coming days, as the seasons change and express yet more wisdom of our creator God, please continue to ask our loving heavenly Father to hold them together and fill with his peace the lonely space in their lives as they grieve Heavy’s death.

Jacque