Dear Friends,
Please pray for my 2 year old grandson, Emmanuel, who had to go to the hospital two nights ago and is still there. He has pneumonia and is receiving oxygen and intravenous fluids. Pray for his appetite to improve so he can eat and gain strength to fight this illness. Pray God also spare him from a lifetime of asthma, which is a danger for him.
God bless you.
Tomorrow I go again to be pumped full of various drugs, my third chemo therapy session of this first set of drugs. They will again use the port-a cath which I had surgically inserted under the skin below the collar bone, on June 3. The next 4 days will be varying stages of feeling sub-normal. Based on my last two chemo sessions, Saturday won’t be too bad, but Sunday and Monday will be a “wash” (as in “washed out”, good for nothing). “Bedtime” takes on a new meaning since I have felt too tired and yucky (is this in the dictionary?) to be up much, so I spend most of my time resting and sleeping. But it could be worse, I know, so like a bad storm, I ride it out and thank the Lord I am as well as I am.
Actually, I don’t usually do a lot of anything mental like thinking or even praying. So I am very thankful for you who “stand on guard” for me (reminds me of a song…:). When I can’t pray for myself, or only cry out “Lord, have mercy. Lord, have mercy”, when others are praying for me I can rest on the substance of their faith. That is true intercession and I am very grateful for it.
But today I have another burden on my heart. My 2 year old grandson Emmanuel has been diagnosed with pneumonia, the second time in his short two years of life. He is our little “Superman”, the one in the picture on my last blog. He is the one who cheered up his Abuelito (Grandpa) Randy before his knee surgery with his Superman-flying play. He still is enamored of the Superman hero character. Yet we know there is only one Superman, and no fiction is he. We cry out to Jesus, who alone can save the world, and heal our loved ones. For he is not only the most true Man, but he is God. Won’t you pray for Emmanuel, he is too young to know to pray for himself. But our prayers can make for him a resting place in Jesus, carrying him through his trying time. This is true intercession, and we are very grateful for it.
My other two little grandchildren have been and are still struggling with illness at this time as well; colds and coughs. Please keep them and these two households in your prayers as they minister to me in my time of need. Pray also that I do not get sick due to exposure to any viruses or bacteria, since my immune system is very depleted.
Randy is back in West Virginia, serving the volunteer teams coming to live out their faith doing their good work with and for the people in McDowell County. Pray for him as he readjusts to life there, alone (without me, that is), rattling around in that big old house of ours, serving our staff, lending leadership to the entity called Mustard Seeds and Mountains. There are many needs he is faced with and we need God’s intervention to meet those needs.
Pray for the two of us as we face many months of separation due to my need to be here in California for continued cancer treatment, and his need to be in West Virginia to lead the ministry of Mustard Seeds and Mountains.
Did we, after all, make the right decision in choosing to go to California for my cancer treatment? Absolutely. God has given grace for every circumstance to this point. He will give grace to us for everything we face in the days and months ahead.
We do not make our own way in the world, trusting in our knowledge or abilities alone. We acknowledge there is one God to whom we bow, and seek his guidance for every decision in life. For we are not our own; we are bought with a price. That price is too great to ignore or take lightly. That price whispers, “A life for a life”. Jesus Christ gave his life, his blood, for us. Now we respond, “My life for his life”.
And the Praise goes on….
I have been contemplating a change in a saying on one of our coffee mugs (in which I have my morning tea). It reads, “I’m having a: (check the appropriate box) Good Hair day, Bad hair day”. I’d now add , “No hair day, Fake hair day”.
Yup, I am now among the chrome dome elite. Although here in California lots of men have their heads shaved, they are still a minority, and women of the sort…well, I haven’t seen any shiny domes lately, we tend to keep them discreetly covered, so I am among a very exclusive, small percentage of the population!
I got tired of dealing with gobs of hair falling out for 3 days, so on Saturday (May 31) I asked Randy to shave it off. He willingly, yet sadly, took the shaver and started buzzing it off. Our 5 year old granddaughter, Lourdes, held a plastic bag into which Grandpa dropped the handfuls of hair. After he started, I quickly suggested he do a mohawk and take a picture before it was all gone, which he did, and I posed with Lourdes and Emmanuel (2 years). What a shot for posterity! Hopefully, that will be a once in a lifetime event!
Hair truly is a woman’s glory and Randy always loved my hair long, which I tried to keep for many years. So he was sad when he shaved it off, but he was prepared from day one to join with me, identifying with me in my suffering and indignities by having his head shaved back in January. It is a touching and deeply significant statement of love when a husband (or wife) chooses to personally sacrifice in some way to identify with or serve their suffering spouse. My life has been graced with such a husband. His acceptance of and love for me is in great part responsible for my ability to laugh in the face of these indignities. Now I can joke that, instead of dressing alike, as do some older couples (hey, not that old!), we go bald alike!
What a gift from God is humor, the ability to see the funny side of things, to laugh at oneself, to see distressing life circumstances in a different light, and to some degree “make light” of them, putting them into perspective. We can do that because we have developed a perspective on life which has been shaped and honed over the years by the influence of God’s perspective on life. As a result we have more important issues to deal with in life. We have bigger things to live for, more lasting than our little lives. We, therefore, can “get on with our lives” in the midst of flux, fear and pain.
Losing my hair and suffering other body disfigurements has been fairly easy for me to handle, though by no means pleasant. I attribute this to my relationship with my God and my relationship with my husband. I absolutely do take comfort in the fact that my hair will grow back. I am overwhelmingly grateful for the commitment and love of my husband. All of us struggle with these things differently yet I have heard many testify to God’s goodness in the midst of suffering and fear, his faithfulness to be “the God who is with us”, and who delivers.
People tell me I am strong. I disagree. I am not strong; I just know the One who is and run with all my little strength to Him. The only safe place to “fall apart” when tragedy strikes is nestled on the lap of our Father in heaven.
So now I wear various hear coverings around the house and out of the house. I do have a wig as well, and Randy took me to Macy’s for a makeup session so now I am wearing makeup for the first time in over 35 years! I have been practicing brushing in my eyebrows while they are still there so I can get it right when they are not. I’ve added earrings again too. Now I remind myself of my sweet southern belle girlfriends! But I still don’t wear bows on my shoes. Love y’all!
Randy and I leave Saturday for our 35th wedding anniversary getaway in San Diego, one of southern California’s most beautiful cities. ‘Tis a lovely gift…with a view of the bay. We will visit a dear friend, former co-worker and current supporter in Encinitas on the way down. He is one who knows suffering from the side of the faithful, loving spouse, as 2 years ago he had to let go to God the love of his life of 57 years. He is abiding “on the lap” of his Father. God has given us the privilege of knowing and having as role models of service and faith some of his best kids. We count it a deep privilege.
Upon our return to Colton, we prepare for Randy’s return to West Virginia and what awaits him there as he once again takes up the reins of leadership responsibilities on-site. God has been so good to let us be together during these last 5 months. Now we face new challenges and continue to pray for long-standing needs to be met within Mustard Seeds. Come what may our hearts are set to serve and love the King with all our strength. We pray he will allow us to serve him in ever greater ways in years to come.
Jacque
