UPS delivered a box yesterday with a bottle of pills, a new prescription for one of the 2 drugs I am still taking for the MG (myasthenia gravis). So what? I take lots of pills and have many delivered. But these pills are half the dosage of one of the meds I have been taking for the last few years (4 pills a day). My neurologist agreed to allow me to start slowly cutting back on the amount of this drug which suppresses my immune system. I had asked the Lord to move my doctor’s heart to allow this if He wanted me to cut back. We have asked God for healing of the MG and have seen Him give me exceptional strength over the past several months (for over a year). I was able, one year ago, to discontinue Mestinon, a maintenance type drug used to treat MG. Never, since I was diagnosed with MG at 15 years of age, have I been able to go without it, until last year. To us that is a miracle! Now, as of this morning, I am cutting back on this heavy duty drug.

Humanly speaking, my doctors look at the chemotherapy I went through for breast cancer and say, “Hmmm, cancer chemo to treat MG?”. Of course, as my neurologist states, I have been on long term “chemotherapy” with the drugs I have taken over the years to treat MG. One doctor many years ago, having looked at the list of meds I was on, made the comment, “You are on some heavy toxins, aren’t you”. Yes indeed.

God has used medical science and technology to benefit me over the past many, many years I have had MG. He has given knowledge to man in many areas, including medicine and human health and I thank God for it. But as we all know, there are limitations and drawbacks to most of these treatments. I am experiencing some of those as I write. That is why over the years I have prayed for God’s mercy to protect me from the bad side-effects of the various drugs I’ve taken. He has done that for many of them. I’ve prayed for many years that I could discontinue these helpful yet harmful drugs. Now, I will be cutting back ½ pill-worth per month of one of them, as I can tolerate it. That is, as long as I do not get weaker. I have put myself in God’s hands. I have not rushed ahead, have not presumed anything. But we have asked God for His mercy and grace in relation to my healing. We have directly asked for healing of the MG, as well as the cancer (and my heart since it was affected in the chemo treatments). As in all things, we wait on the Lord.

Part of that waiting involves fending off fears and doubts. The main thing for me to remember, for each one of us to remember, is that I, myself, must not be the center of my concern. I have to continually focus my eyes on Jesus Christ, not myself. I am a part of something much bigger and grander than just my life. God is working out His purposes, and I, as a redeemed follower of Jesus, get to be part of that, both now and for all eternity. What hope there is in that! If, as the apostle Paul said, we have hope only for this life, we would be more than all men, most miserable! Think of it. Everything we suffer in this life has meaning and purpose as we are rightly related to God and players in His big plan. Not a pain nor tear is wasted in any and all kinds of struggle and suffering. In fact, it is in our helplessness, powerlessness and physical weakness that we get to give God the opportunity to display His mighty power through us.

(Break for weeping.)

There are some truths hard to understand, to grasp with the mind. They must be embraced with the will, their reality accepted by faith. I always fall back on the big soft cushion of the goodness of God. That goodness has been proven over and over again. I don’t deserve it, but I am mighty glad for it.

Waiting on the Lord. I am again reading through the book of Isaiah (I highly recommend it) and today read chapter 40. Wow. These passages are so amazing and powerful. They feed the soul, build one’s faith. We neglect the reading and study of the Word of God to our own detriment. God had these words written down for us! I am so thankful He did that. I pray we will always be able to have the Word of God and that those who do not now have it, will be able to get it. I pray that we will eat it as food and be changed by putting into practice what God has said.

“Who has directed the Spirit of the LORD, or as His counselor has informed Him? With whom did He consult and who gave Him understanding? And who taught Him in the path of justice and taught Him knowledge and informed Him of the way of understanding?

“To whom then will you liken Me that I would be his equal?” says the Holy One. Lift up your eyes on high and see who has created these stars, the One who leads forth their host by number, He calls them all by name; because of the greatness of His might and the strength of His power, not one of them is missing…Why do you say… “My way is hidden from the LORD, and the justice due me escapes the notice of my God”?

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable. He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power.

Though youths grow weary and tired, and vigorous young men stumble badly, yet those who wait for the LORD will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary.” Isaiah 40: 13, 14, 25-31 NASB

Think about that, think deeply about that. I sure am.

I need your prayers. Thanks for caring.

Jacque