Sometimes I read a Psalm and know it is for me. It is mine. I can say the words the psalmist wrote as though they originated in my own heart, yet it teaches me at the same time. I personalize it, and it is filled with meaning; it speaks deeply to me.

It happened again this morning as I read Psalm 66.

Psalm 66

Shout joyfully to God, all the earth;
2 Sing the glory of His name;
Make His praise glorious.
3 Say to God, “How awesome are Your works!
Because of the greatness of Your power Your enemies will give feigned obedience to You.

4 “All the earth will worship You,

And will sing praises to You;

They will sing praises to Your name.” Selah.

(I can say this! I can long for and work toward all the people of earth praising Him.)

 5 Come and see the works of God,

Who is awesome in His deeds toward the sons of men.
6 He turned the sea into dry land;
They passed through the river on foot;
There let us rejoice in Him!
7 He rules by His might forever;
His eyes keep watch on the nations;
Let not the rebellious exalt themselves. Selah.

(I can read scripture and inform myself of all the mighty works of God in the past. He has done amazing things in my life as well. I need to recount them to myself and others. It is in the telling that the light of knowledge and understanding comes. If we do not recount the great works of God, both distant past and recent past, who will know them? Who will remember and praise His name?)

 8 Bless our God, O peoples,

And sound His praise abroad,
9 Who keeps us in life
And does not allow our feet to slip.
10 For You have tried us, O God;
You have refined us as silver is refined.
11 You brought us into the net;
You laid an oppressive burden upon our loins.
12 You made men ride over our heads;
We went through fire and through water,

(From childhood He has watched over my life, even though He let me go through very dark and deep waters of struggle. He has been with me on those paths. He has kept me alive the many times when Death clawed at the gates of my life to snatch me away. He kept me going day to day when I had no strength to carry on. Though weakness dogged my every step, God has been my strength and help. Though disease and death have threatened my life, God has declared life for me to this day.)

Yet You brought us out into a place of abundance.

(He has surrounded me with love and encouragement and cared for me through the people He placed in my life. He has given me the desire of my heart to serve Him. I have so much to be thankful for!)
13 I shall come into Your house with burnt offerings;
I shall pay You my vows,
14 Which my lips uttered
And my mouth spoke when I was in distress.
15 I shall offer to You burnt offerings of fat beasts,
With the smoke of rams;
I shall make an offering of bulls with male goats. Selah.

(Though I do not bring animal sacrifices, I do bring the sacrifice of praise, the fruit of my lips giving thanks to His name in the midst of pain and struggle. I bring the sacrifices of doing good and sharing with others; sacrifices with which He is pleased [Hebrews 13: 15, 16]. I move on, move forward in life day after day, making the choice to be thankful and living ‘outwardly’, extending myself in various ways to serve others with the strength He gives. Life is not all about taking; we must give out to others from the good God gives us. With these sacrifices He is pleased.)

16 Come and hear, all who fear God,
And I will tell of what He has done for my soul.
17 I cried to Him with my mouth,
And He was extolled with my tongue.

(Such a reminder for me to tell others of God’s goodness and faithfulness to me! Though I sometimes feel like I have nothing to say that others are not saying, and often much better, I am reminded in this passage that I have the personal responsibility to speak forth His praises, to tell of His marvelous good works toward me; so that all who hear may give back praise to God.)   

18 If I regard wickedness in my heart,

The Lord will not hear;
19 But certainly God has heard;
He has given heed to the voice of my prayer.
20 Blessed be God,
Who has not turned away my prayer
Nor His lovingkindness from me.

(Oh Lord, may I daily walk with You in the Light! Cleanse and forgive. I desire to walk in humility with You, so You can always hear my cries to You in prayer, so I can continue to know Your lovingkindness for me. So I can bring You glory in this short lifetime.)

(Scripture from the NASB. All remarks in parentheses are mine.)

Did your heart join in the psalmist’s words, too? Did you substitute your life experiences of struggle and God’s great lovingkindnesses to you, for the psalmist’s and mine? We all have a story to tell of how God has been working in our lives; we can enter into the words of the writer. We can and should thankfully declare the wonderful works of the Lord. We all can live a life of doing good and sharing with others, and please the Lord in the doing.

Then all who hear our words and see our lives can give praise back to our Father in heaven (Matthew 5:15).

Overheard on a Christian radio station: “Do you feel unworthy of God’s love…?” the announcer asked in his sad, plaintive voice. “Do you feel you are not worthy of God’s love for you…?”, as though that is such a shame. That you need not feel that way and he’s going to tell you about someone who wants to help you get beyond that unworthy feeling.

But my mind says, “Do I feel unworthy of God’s love? Yes, absolutely. We should feel that way because we ARE unworthy.”

Thought: Where did we get the idea we shouldn’t feel unworthy of God’s love? And why are so many making it a spiritual malady which needs a cure?

When we get into the basement of our feelings, so low that we know we are unworthy of God’s great love and Jesus’ sacrifice for us—friend, that is just where we need to be to begin, and to maintain, a life journey with God. Or Jesus was joking about ‘Blessed are those who are poor in spirit’, those who are at the end of themselves. Those who finally “get it” that they are totally and absolutely lost and undone; those who’ve fallen and can’t get up. Those who know poverty of spirit and in their poverty and unworthiness cry out to the God of all mercies and grace. Which He pours out on those unworthies.

Too often I perceive in the words of Christians, like that Christian radio announcer, the subtle twist of truth, that says “gee, you shouldn’t feel unworthy; God loves you, you are special…”. It is true God loves us, enough to sacrifice all to redeem us. But not because we are special or worthy of His love.  In fact, the scriptures are clear: He loved us when we were the most unlovable, the most unworthy and undeserving of His love. He loved us when we were His enemies (Romans 3: 9-19, 23, 27; 5:6-8, 10)!

What some of those in the current Christian culture have done, I fear, is substitute our own self for God at the center of the universe. Again, falling for the lie of the enemy of God, the devil, the deceiver, that liar and father of all lies. Oh, he is good—at lying that is. Makes it sound just like truth. Fools a lot of people. Upstanding religious folk like the friends of Job.

Job’s friends, remember them? Great sounding arguments. Have you read them lately? Sometimes I go, so what’s wrong with what this guy just said? What’s wrong is that is just a degree off from center, the center being the truth of God.  God had a distinct opinion about that and made it clear in Job 42: 7 and 8… well, just read it for yourself.

“It came about after the LORD had spoken these words to Job, that the LORD said to Eliphaz… “My wrath is kindled against you and your two friends, because you have not spoken of Me what is right, as My servant Job has. Now therefore, take for yourselves seven bulls and seven rams, and go to My servant Job, and offer up a burnt offering for yourselves, and My servant Job will pray for you. For I will accept him so that I may not do with you according to your folly, because you have not spoken of Me what is right, as My servant Job has.””

These are, to me, some of the scariest words God says in scripture.

I believe Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar, Job’s three friends, thought so too, because verse 9 says, “So Eliphaz… Bildad… and Zophar… went and did as the LORD told them; and the Lord accepted Job.” They were dead men walking and they knew it. I have no doubt they ran to Job. Job proved, in my eyes, his practical righteousness when he sincerely and earnestly interceded for his friends, men who had ripped him up one side and down the other, and that when he was at his lowest and most vulnerable. He forgave. He exhibited more of the nature of God at that point, to me, than all his other good works throughout his lifetime, and these were legion.

Here is a strong and powerful warning to us to be very careful what we speak as the words of God! I come to the Word as a learner, always (James 3:1,2).

Though God loves us and considered the cost of the redemption of the world something He was willing to pay (John 3:16), God has made it clear in His word that no one stands worthy before Him, that is, no one deserves His grace. Otherwise we would have something to boast about. Otherwise grace would not be grace, mercy would not be mercy.

Paul said as much in I Corinthians 1:23-31,   “…but we preach Christ crucified, to the Jews a stumbling block and to the Gentiles foolishness, but to those who are the called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men. For consider your calling, brethren, that there were not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble: but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are, SO THAT NO MAN MAY BOAST BEFORE GOD….so that, just as it is written, “Let him who boasts, boast in the Lord.””(My emphases)

What “is written”, quoted in part above, is from Jeremiah 9: 23, “Thus says the LORD, “Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom, and let not the mighty man boast of his might, let not a rich man boast of his riches; but let him who boasts boast about this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the LORD who exercises lovingkindness, justice and righteousness on earth; for I delight in these things,” declares the LORD.”

No man can boast before God. God will not share His glory with another (Isa. 42:8). Grace is what it means, a gift, unmerited favor. Unmerited. Are we unworthy of God’s love? We do not deserve God’s love and favor; we will never deserve it. He loves us because he chooses to.

Therefore, there is no place for either the prideful or the one who considers himself so low God cannot possibly redeem him. We are all the same at the foot of the cross. The focus should never be on us, but on the great God of love, mercy and grace (Romans 5: 11; Ephesians 2:1-9; John  1:29).

In our unworthiness is the only way we can approach God (Micah 6:8; Mark 1:15). Then we can accept His mercy and grace. Then we can know His forgiveness. Then, and only then, can we begin to “walk worthy of the calling with which we have been called” (Ephesians 4:1ff; 5:1ff). We can’t be worthy, but we can live worthy.

So if you are one of those, or know someone, who feels unworthy of God’s love, rejoice! The journey with God, by faith, can begin there.

Then we can give glory where glory is due: to Jesus the Son and God the Father, Who alone are Worthy.

“”Worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive power and riches and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing.”

And every created thing which is in heaven and on the earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all things in them (us included), I heard saying,

“To Him who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb, be blessing and honor and glory and dominion forever and ever.”

And the four living creatures kept saying “Amen.”

And the elders fell down and worshiped.” (Revelation 5:12-14; my added note)

And I say “Amen and Amen”, and worship His Worthiness too.

(All scripture references are from the NASB.)

Have you exhaled yet?

The New Year is here and the holidays are over; time to relax and get back to a normal routine. That’s what I’m doing anyway. Today I put all our Christmas decorations away. There weren’t many, not nearly what I had accumulated for our big house in West Virginia with its 3 fireplaces and staircase with bannister just calling for a pine garland.

This year Christmas felt different for me. But there were some important reasons for that. First, in October we moved from our home of 17 years in West Virginia and we are not yet surrounded with the “familiar”; we are still getting settled, making this house our home.  I don’t have the lighted garland on my staircase this year. I don’t have a staircase to put a garland on. But I put up our tiny tree, loaded with ornaments, colored mini-lights glowing softly in the darkness of early morning. I sit and enjoy my morning cup of tea and look at the lights. Small adjustments.

Another reason the days leading up to Christmas had not felt quite right is because the weeks from Thanksgiving to Christmas were difficult for the family of my daughter in law, Monica (Jeremy’s wife). Her dad’s leukemia became worse just before Thanksgiving, and though he was able to be with the family for Thanksgiving dinner, he got worse and went through chemotherapy a week after Thanksgiving. He fought valiantly for the next 3 weeks, his 5 daughters sharing rounds of time with their dad so someone was there at the hospital with him 24 hours a day.  I spent a week and a half at Jeremy’s home helping out with their 3 children during this time. It was a blessing to me to be able to be there for them in a time of need. Though many prayed for him, asking God to heal and give grace, Jose Avila died just days before Christmas. Though the family still held their annual Christmas-day get together, mostly for the 11 grandkids, plus my son, Seth’s, two children, since the Wallace clan is lovingly included in the Avila clan; for the adults there was the underlying sadness of loss. It will never be the same without their dad, the children’s Tito. At the funeral, Monica gave a wonderful testimony of salvation through Jesus Christ, sharing that her father had indeed affirmed he trusted Jesus for his salvation; she encouraged others to do the same. It was a shining moment. I was very proud of my daughter-in-love.

So this has been a different Christmas time for me. Feelings are what I move on much of the time, especially at Christmas time. Nostalgia plays a big part of the “feeling” of the season for me. I recall my Michigan childhood of cold winters with snow, stone-boat rides behind the tractor, soft colored lights on the tree, gifts piled under it, family reunions, spending time with cousins and aunts and uncles, Christmas programs and Christmas cantatas at church, reading from the Bible the Christmas story on Christmas eve, reading the Christmas stories as well as Santa Claus stories in Ideals Magazines (anyone remember those?). I grew up knowing absolutely what Christmas was about: the birth of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. I also was taught that the concept of Santa Claus came from good men in ancient times and that the modern stories about him were fantasy. There was no confusion and no disappointment for me knowing the difference between truth and fantasy. I have very fond memories.

Living here in central California only 3 hours from our 2 sons’ families, rather than 3000 miles away in West Virginia, we will build more memories, hopefully with and for our grandchildren, helping to instill in them the values of knowing what Christmas is all about, really all about. We didn’t choose to move to California for our own purposes, rather, as we sought God for His purposes for us, delighting in Him, He has been kindly giving us the desires of our hearts. This is what I know.

And we are enjoying it here. Country girl at heart that I am, I am tickled to find we like the convenience of walking to nearby stores and restaurants. What fun! We’ve also been exploring the area further afield, checking out stores around town, driving into the nearby mountains and taking our kids and grandkids to some of the great local parks and bike paths when they come to visit.

We have been attending various churches in our search for a new home church and we think we’ve found the one we will regularly attend and become involved in. It has always been a high value to us to become established in a local church fellowship, primarily because the scriptures are clear about meeting together with other believers regularly. Also, the local church people become our local “family of faith”, the believers we will associate with on a regular basis, encouraging and being encouraged by them, serving and worshiping together. It is true Randy and I have literally scores of Christian friends around the country and even in other countries, but we still need face to face relationships with a local body of believers. This is Jesus’ design for the church and it is good.

So as we navigate the unfamiliar, we are slowly making it familiar. Next Christmas will surely “feel” different to me once again, but perhaps the difference will be familiarity.

Ahhh (exhale).