I feel like the other “shoe dropped”, so to speak. When my oncologist told me about a month ago that he was stopping further Herceptin treatments due to my weakened heart condition and ordered my port-a-cath removed, there was an ominous sense of finality to his words. No more doing anything intravenously for (or rather against) cancer. No more infusions as protection against cancer recurrence, no more chemotherapy of any kind. I am done. It was a little scary. Like taking away a security blanket I didn’t realize I had.

Last Thursday, one year almost to the day of its insertion, I had the port-a-cath removed under local anesthetic in the doctor’s office. I drove myself back to my son and daughter-in-law’s home and rested. It, thankfully, was not a big ordeal. God gave me the ability to relax and not fear the procedure. And the doctor was right, it did take only 15 minutes.

A funny side-light is that when the surgeon removed the port-a-cath, she asked, “Would you like to see what’s been in there?” in my chest wall just below my collar bone, and before I could answer, she held it up for me to see! It looked like a tiny 1 1/2” white flying saucer with a big dark red “eye” on the top and a long white tube hanging from the bottom. Now, having grown up in a surgeon’s home, listening to dinner table talk of surgical procedures and other doctor type fix ups, I was not “grossed out” and no I didn’t get sick or faint! I was surprised though, and inwardly chuckled that she actually did that!

People always said this surgeon is very good at what she does and I think she herself is so fascinated with the whole surgical process, and loves her work so much that she likes to “share” her enthusiasm with others! It’s nice to know your doctor is really into her work!

Now, as I heal up from that little surgical procedure, I am physically, mentally, and emotionally moving on to what is ahead for me. As I wind up things here, saying good-byes at church, packing and spending time with kids and grandkids, I have been experiencing a broad range of emotions, yet God is giving me grace to be ok with each aspect of leaving and going back home that I must deal with.

On my last visit with the oncologist I brought in some Entenmann’s desserts for the chemo nurses, the receptionists and the office gals and doctor. I have appreciated them all very much. One thing I really like about my cancer doctor is that though he treated my breast cancer as an expert in that field, his approach to patients is that they are whole people, not just cancer patients. What I mean is, he realizes his cancer patients have lives, interests, and other physical conditions, which play into their whole being. When I had my appointments with him, he sometimes asked me about West Virginia, coal mining there, and other things like that, showing genuine interest in the topics he asked about. He is expert in cancer, but he has other interests himself, which we could discuss together.

What really impressed me was when he commented on how much my myasthenia gravis had improved since I’d been there undergoing breast cancer treatment. He is interested in how and why that has taken place. What are the correlations between the cancer fighting drugs used with me and the improvement in this autoimmune disease (MG)? I, myself, find these same kinds of things fascinating. He is truly a man of medicine, with an interest in the whole person, in how the body functions and the whys and wherefores of sickness and healing. I really like that! It resonates with me. I am glad I have him as my cancer doctor.

My follow up appointments with the oncologist will be spread out to every 4 months for the next 3 years, instead of every 3 months. That cuts down on the amount of travel but it is still a lot. The up-side of course, is seeing our family out here. They are our heart’s joy and delight, just like Proverbs talks about. We are so thankful for our sons and daughters-in-law, and I’ve said it so many times you have it memorized by now! But it is true. God has poured out his blessing on us and we are truly grateful.

Future visits to California will also include seeing my friends here at the church. Tuesday evening the ladies who make up the Thursday morning ladies’ Bible study I’ve been attending for the past year or so held a potluck supper at the church as a farewell to me which was so nice. They wanted to say goodbye in a special way and since I wasn’t able to make it to the last two Thursday meetings (yes, doctor’s appointments!) they came together that evening. It is all very humbling and I feel blessed of God to have these special ladies as my friends.

I also am making more friends within the Prayer Partners at church and those who have felt God’s call to join together in united, corporate prayer for the needs of our church, community and world. We plan to extend this call to the church body for our upcoming monthly meetings. These are wonderful women and men who love the Lord and believe in the power of God to answer prayer. I look forward to getting to know them better when I am out here in CA in future months. I fully expect God to do, yes, wonders, through his people here as he leads them in prayer to accomplish his purposes. This is exciting.

And I do look forward to once again joining my special friends, my Mustard Seeds family, back in West Virginia. I am persuaded we are about God’s Kingdom work at Mustard Seeds and Mountains. This is our heart passion and our pursuit. Each one of us with our different personalities, our different perspectives, insights, gifts and passions makes up a wonderful mix which, by God’s grace working in us, has been able to express the beauty of God’s idea: unity in diversity, operating by love.

I feel privileged to be a part of this work of God, for I truly believe that is what it is. God called Randy and me to this work. He has led us step by step over the past 17 years of Mustard Seeds and Mountains’ existence. He has faithfully provided everything needed to do the work. And we often stand humbled and amazed that God has been at work among us, even when we didn’t know it and wondered if we were “accomplishing” anything of lasting value.

And now I am heading back “into the fray” so to speak! No, not a place of dread but a place of anticipation of more of God’s working among those we serve, both local families and volunteers who come to serve for a week at a time in this busiest of seasons of ministry, summer Home Repair. And God is at work in the staff of Mustard Seeds too, both summer college interns and high school students, and our long term, full time staff with whom I live year round.

I am going back to my own home, to make a home with Randy, for it is just a house without each other in it…together. And I also love the simple things of life; I plan to plant a garden. I love to see things grow. Life. It is good.
To be continued….

Jacque