Medical tests, doctor’s appointment, with more to come. Living and visiting with family members, playing with grandchildren, being on hand for the birth of our 4th grandchild, spending time with friends from church. These are some of the things I have been doing the past couple of weeks since Randy and I flew to California Labor Day weekend.

Have I mentioned the 3 digit temperatures? But what wonderful times when it has been “cooler” in the evenings, or early mornings when I go for my daily walk. Today it is hot but clear; you can see the surrounding mountains and they are always inspiring to me. And it is always a joy to see blue sky when you live in southern California!

I learned at my first doctor’s appointment, which was with my cardiologist, that my heart has not improved very much. It was damaged by the Herceptin which targets a receptor on the cancer cells, hence my oncologist’s decision to discontinue it, and the reason I could go back home earlier in the summer than first anticipated. The force with which the heart pumps blood is called the ejection fraction and mine had declined to 30-35%. Not good. It now is at about 40%. So my cardiologist is keeping me on my current regimen of 3 different heart medications. She also mentioned some fluid around the heart but I do not know how serious it is in my case. Please continue to pray for healing of my heart.

I also had a bone density test done (something I have had annually for several years) and will find out the results Monday. This is important because for over 10 years I have had to take Fosamax off and on to build bone, due to long term Prednisone use for the MG (myasthenia gravis), one of the side effects of which is loss of calcium leading to osteoporosis. Danger of this disease is enhanced now because of the cancer treatment. This is one reason I must walk every day. Please pray for strengthening of my bones.

I learned last week that my oncologist is on 2 month medical leave so I will be seeing another doctor who is seeing his patients for him. Please pray for Dr. Godfrey’s healing.

So many unknowns. So many opportunities to trust God. So many promises of God to contemplate, turning them over and studying them as a treasure. I don’t go looking for them to wave in God’s face. But I find them throughout His word and they give me lots to think about, and much comfort.

In my reading of Proverbs I came across something which directly speaks to one of my current needs. In chapter 3 the speaker is admonishing to trust God completely and not trust in one’s own knowledge and understanding. We are to “acknowledge God” in everything, in “all our ways”. I’ve tried to make this part of my life and so when something turns out well in our eyes or we accomplish something, you will often hear me say “Praise the Lord”, by way of giving back to Him the glory for it. I may have done my best in the situation, or others the same, but my hope is not in “my best” nor in the good efforts of others, as needful as those are and which are to be desired and expected. No, no matter how we plan and work toward our goals, the result is from the Lord (Prov. 3:5-6; 16:3). I can always feel good about doing a good job in carrying out my responsibilities, but not to the point of thinking it was all about me, that I carried the day. This is what the wise teacher means by “don’t be wise in your own eyes, fear the Lord and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your body and refreshment to your bones” (Prov. 3:7, 8). To fear the Lord is to humbly accept His teachings, embrace His truth and let it inform (our minds) and transform us (our behaviors). When we live according to His ways, things happen on our behalf which would not otherwise have taken place. And this is definitely to our benefit.

So it is with all His promises; they are always for our best. We don’t get all the “good stuff” without compliance with His will, however. God’s promises are not “unconditional”, that is, having nothing required of us in order to receive them. The conditions are always tied to loving obedience to God.

I know God is gracious and merciful, and He sends His rain on the just and the unjust. This is the mercy of God. Lots of times God does good to us and others even when we are not loving and obeying Him. Whether believer or unbeliever in the God of goodness and the goodness of God, God remains true to Himself: He is good, even when we don’t deserve it (Romans 5:8).

But to those who put their faith in Him He offers His “precious and magnificent” promises (II Peter 1:4, NASB). And I cannot help it, I must continue with what Peter said here, “so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust…”. Now, I don’t know about you, but I could just set up camp here and stay awhile! Let these words roll round and round in my mind and try to plumb their depths.

See how this is saying the same thing as Proverbs 3…trust in God, not yourself…fear the Lord…turn away from evil…believe right, live right…it will be health to you! Peter says trust in God, His word; His promises are given so that we may be transformed and escape the corrupting of our souls…the corruption we see in those who refuse the Lord…their lives are desperate and they are being destroyed by their own behaviors (Ephesians 3:18, 19). See how Peter is saying the same thing as Paul when he said God’s plan for each of us is to become like Jesus (Romans 8:29), “partakers of the divine nature”. (Some terminology just blows me away!)

How can we not get excited about all this? It is much bigger than my small life, but my small life is a part of this greater whole. How I relate to God, how I then live out my life is important. No one is overlooked and unimportant in God’s eyes. We are all called to and held to this same high standard. We all will give an account to Him for our lives. In light of this, as Paul says in II Corinthians 5:6-11, “we have as our ambition…to be pleasing to Him”.

When we fear the Lord and walk in His ways, we can have the promises of God fulfilled in our lives, we can see the “kingdom of God”, the rule of God extended through our lives, affecting the world of people around us.

It is worth it to me to continue to let the Word of God inform my thinking and change my behavior. I will benefit from the promises of God, but an even deeper and more significant change happens in me in the process; I love God more and want to serve Him whole-heartedly…no matter what.

It is in the “no matter what” that we often get to shine brightest for our Lord.

Jacque