It has been three months since my diagnosis of breast cancer. My journey continues. It is not a path I would have chosen; I suddenly found myself here one day. Now I am surrounded by a great company of fellow travelers, some have been here before themselves, others, though they are not compelled to walk with me, have chosen to do so, lending their support to me by prayer and encouragement.

I have met many courageous women whose footprints still impress the same ground I now walk. I have heard their stories of suffering, faith in God and answered prayer. They have impressed my heart and bolstered my hope.

God graciously brought me through the first surgery I needed February 14. He more than answered our prayers. Now I face yet another surgery, to remove more lymph nodes, in hopes of making sure all cancer is out of my body. The PET scan I had beginning of March indicated there was no spread of cancer outside the area of the breast tumor. Pray with me this aggressive cancer, if there are yet cancer cells multiplying, stay put and the surgery effectively remove all trace of them.

I am realizing the war against cancer involves battles not only to kill the present cancer, but battles of taking steps medical science knows to make sure it does not recur in the future. This will involve chemotherapy, other drug therapies and radiation, following the upcoming surgery. In all these please pray for wisdom for my doctors and strength for me.

My surgery is scheduled for Thursday April 3. Even if you get this late, your prayers are urgently needed and deeply appreciated. I believe that since God lives outside Time, which is mind-boggling for us to grasp, your “late” prayers are not really late. Time is for our benefit, not God’s.

This surgery will be more involved and demanding. I will likely stay overnight in the hospital, I will have a drainage tube for a period of time, may more likely need pain meds after surgery, and will have to do exercises to rehab/maintain range of motion, etc. I will have new demands on me to do and not do certain things in relation to my right arm to avoid lymphedema (swelling of the arm and area affected by removal of the lymph nodes/system).

Please pray with me about these issues and that I will get over the cold I have had the last two weeks. My concern especially is coughing when I need to have anesthesia (they insert a tube down my throat to introduce the anesthesia) and related issues.

God has continued to take my fears and anxieties as I bring them to him, giving me in exchange just what he promised: his peace. I live each day as it comes, rejoicing in God’s goodness, my wonderful family and many friends, and daily strength.

Self-chastising thoughts come up sometimes of “why didn’t I catch this sooner, be more attune and assertive about the breast lump”, but I take myself in hand and remind myself the “if only” and “what if” questions do no good. Fretting only leads to sin. I refuse to look back. I cannot go back in time (good old time) and change anything I did or didn’t do. There are only two right and productive things I can do: I can learn from this experience, move forward and determine not to repeat it but do the right thing for my own health from now on, and the other is to turn to the Lord who is gracious and merciful, full of compassion and forgiveness, seeking his mercy to bring me through this dark vale. These I am doing daily.

The scriptures, God’s words to us, sustain me daily. They are our life. They bring the only light to this dark path. Your love and concern and prayers accompany me and encourage me, like that cloud of witnesses the author of Hebrews writes about.

I pray God does mighty things in answer to our prayers, not just for my sake but for yours, that the faith of all of us might be built up and strengthened, so we all might be more like Jesus and bring joy to our Father’s heart.