my choices for treatment

 I saw the surgeon yesterday and he gave me two options: 1) chemo therapy then surgery to remove more lymph nodes (because cancer was found in the two nodes previously removed), or 2) surgery first and then chemo. I opted for surgery first because I thought I might be stronger now, rather than later considering the MG 

myasthenia gravis)

However, this surgeon (who has done an excellent job with my first surgery) believes in removing the lymph nodes ("cleaning out" the area, as he puts it) and that is a controversial issue. Other good doctors do not believe the same way, are more conservative about taking out lymph nodes. We do not know how many lymph nodes are cancerous.

I know my surgeon wants to remove all possible cancer cells in the lymph nodes, but to remove all lymph nodes almost guarantees that I would have to live with lymphedema (swelling of the arm and chest area) the rest of my life, due to lack of a lymph system in that area to remove fluids, with attendant pain and other debilitating factors, to a greater or lesser degree. Removing fewer nodes gives me the possibility I won't have lymphedema.

When I went home after my appointment, having signed a paper stating I would agree to the surgery, I had no peace, only fear. This fear and anxiety intensified as I read medical articles related to the removal of lymph nodes and lymphedema. The decision I made would be life altering. I may have a better chance of removing all the cancerous cells, but I would very likely live with pain and debility the rest of my life. I needed time to consider my options.

I have reversed my decision to have this surgery first and informed the doctor's office. Now we move to chemo therapy, giving me a chance to do more research and get a second opinion as to the surgery.

This has been a wrenching decision! Though I can be objective and assertive when it comes to advising others, I find it very difficult to do the same thing for myself. I tend to defer to "authority" figures and doctors to me are authority figures. I think it has alot to do with the fact that my dad was a doctor, and that we were raised to respect all persons in authority. This is not a bad thing, but when it comes to choosing what is best for my own medical care, taking responsibility for it, this can be a hindrance.

Your prayers are needed as much as before! If you have experience with this issue, please drop me a line. I will be gathering as much information, even anecdotal information, as I can in my decision making process. I need wisdom for seeking a second opinion from a surgeon. There is also the issue of insurance approving whoever I go to. I don't know if my insurance would approve of me going outside the Loma Linda system to seek treatment since I have begun with them. And I am not unhappy with Loma Linda per se. They are doing an excellent job. I'd prefer to stay with them.

 I need wisdom and guidance. The only thing I know to do with certainty, is to seek the face of the Lord, who promises to give just what we need.

Pray God continue to hold at bay any cancer spread, to contain it and by the chemo therapy eliminate it. Pray God give the oncology team (including the neurologist for the MG) wisdom in selecting my chemo drug "mix", suitable to eliminating the cancer as well as mixing with the MG drugs I'm on. Pray I remain strong during chemo therapy and have a minimum of side effects. Every kind of stress weakens me and could become life-threatening.

You are part of my "life-line" and I deeply appreciate you!

Jacque