March 6, 2008

Hello friend,

Yesterday I was given the results of the bone scan and the PET scan which were done over the past week. The PET scan showed no evidence of cancer activity in any other part of the body. This is very good news, praise the Lord. Our prayers are being answered.

The bone scan, however, did show abnormalities, in parts of the spine and sternum (bone which connects the rib cage in the front) which may or may not be cancer related. Since I have been on prednisone for many years and it has caused some osteoporosis (I have been on and off Fosamax, to build bone, for several years; currently off), this may be related to bone loss. I also have severe degenerative disc disease so the abnormalities may be related to that, too. As to the sternum, I have had two thymectomies (a surgical removal of the thymus gland as a treatment for myasthenia gravis) in which they had to break the sternum to get at the area where the thymus gland lies above the heart, in order to remove the thymus. The doctor and I both feel the abnormal reading in that area is most likely related to that scar tissue. Anyway, the X-rays I had yesterday will help the doctor determine these things. Pray for no cancer!

The not so nice news is that I will be going back to surgery to have more lymph nodes removed. The surgical date has not yet been set. I see the surgeon again on Monday, March 10, at which time he will tell me the results of the spine X-rays and get a surgery date set. I will update as to surgery date when I find out that information.

As I thought about the news that there is no evidence of the cancer spreading beyond the lymph nodes, I remembered that I had asked the Lord to slow and contain the spread of the breast cancer cells when it seemed that there was delay after delay, week after week. I was diagnosed on December 20^th and my first surgery date, to remove the breast tumor, wasn’t until February 14, nearly 2 months later!

The waiting was difficult when I considered the “enemy” within, that being the cancer cells and tumor, the “headquarters” of these cells (I have an invasive form of cancer). I felt there were enemy forces advancing inside my body, deviant, destructive forces as real and deadly as human military forces with guns and bombs. I just wanted the enemy “headquarters” and foot soldiers OUT of my body!

The enemy can come in many guises. His ultimate goal is to destroy God’s possession. Peter warned us against our enemy, the devil, who prowls around like a lion seeking prey to devour (folks, this is total annihilation!). In this case Peter is warning us to live our lives “self-controlled and alert”, to stand against the devil.

Sometimes the devil attacks us unawares and not because we have failed to guard ourselves (and I am not saying that I do everything right and “have arrived”! By no means! I am a traveler and learner in The Way of Jesus). In these situations, like Job’s situation, we must throw ourselves on the mercy of the Lord for deliverance. Job struggled excruciatingly and though I would not put myself on the same spiritual plane as Job, I do feel the enemy is attacking me through physical disease.

This is not the first time I’ve been attacked in the body, but it feels more “deadly” than other attacks, because of the nature of cancer. One can live with the ups and downs and even the life threats of a serious chronic disease, and to this day I have, and am alive by God’s grace and mercy. He has delivered me from the “jaws” of the enemy many times. But one cannot live with cancer indefinitely. It must be eradicated. This is the battle I am now engulfed in.

War is not nice or desirable most of the time. But there is a place for it. I have declared war on my enemy, the devil, and so have you by your prayers for me.

In this war we show no mercy and take no prisoners. In my mind this is not just about “me”. Yes, though I am being accused by Satan, the accuser of the brethren, before the throne of God, it is also about the reputation and renown, the glory, of the King. Every attack against God’s creation is an attack by Satan against the Person of God.

Paul says, “(God’s) intent was that now, through the church, the manifold (yes, the manifold, the multi-faceted :) wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in heavenly realms, according to his eternal purpose which he accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord. In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence” (Eph. 3:10-12). And on that authority we approach the throne of grace. And I bow to the sovereignty of God whom I love and serve. May he be glorified in me.

We have a dear friend and co-laborer in the Kingdom who is fond of saying, “Perspective is everything.” We concur. Putting things into a bigger perspective, believing that to be the will of God, infuses me with life and hope in the humanly hopeless situation I find myself. “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible” (Matt. 19:23-26). If in this text Jesus was referring to man’s salvation, the greatest feat of God, how much more should this apply to all other life situations we encounter, such as healing of disease (see Luke 2:9)?

I am thankful for modern medicine and technology, for good and knowledgeable doctors, but my hope is ultimately in God whose “pleasure is not in the strength of the horse (modern technology), nor his delight in the legs of a man (his knowledge and abilities); the Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love” (Ps. 147:10,11).

By God’s grace I will make my stand here, in the fear of the Lord, hoping in his unfailing love. Thank you for standing with me and encouraging me in this place.