The Last Shoe

Last month marked the end of my cancer treatment. The real end. Though I had my last infusion of Herceptin, a biological treatment (not technically chemo) around March of 2009, I was still taking a pill for a total of about 5 years as continued protection against recurrence of breast cancer.

The final shoe has dropped.

Almost 4 years ago I wrote a similar statement in a blog posting: “I feel like the other ‘shoe dropped’, so to speak. When my oncologist told me about a month ago that he was stopping further Herceptin treatments due to my weakened heart condition and ordered my port-a-cath removed, there was an ominous sense of finality to his words. No more doing anything intravenously for (or rather against) cancer. No more infusions as protection against cancer recurrence, no more chemotherapy of any kind. I am done. It was a little scary. Like taking away a security blanket I didn’t realize I had.” (June 10, 2009)

Now I am absolutely, totally finished with any fight against breast cancer recurrence in my body. God has brought me this far. By grace. All by His grace and mercy.

Just like I don’t think about the MG (muscle weakness) I live with, I don’t think  much about cancer in relation to myself. When I do, I ask God to continue to protect me from its return. Always that for one who has had cancer.

Next month I see my oncologist again after six months from my last check-up. So far all has appeared well. No signs of cancer. After this next visit to the oncologist I will see him, not in six months, but twelve.

Barefoot.

Walking by faith. Living my life. Not dwelling on cancer or MG. Focusing on living, and loving the ones around me. Loving life. Loving the Lord who has given me life. Giving back my life to Him. Daily. Because that is all any of us ever has: Today.